Secret Parade

My heart held a funeral for you
when I wasn’t looking
Within the whistling, overgrown garden of trees of eyes
and I close my eyes one by one by one
to not see your pained pacing back and forth
stir-crazy in hostage
paining us both
Yet I grew a garden for you

smell your sick self
I refused to
I let you waste away
moaning in my nutritious soils
under the watching, quiet moonlight
In the voracious nightmare
My eyes fell, precipitously
dewy, parading over the earth you dissolved into
my heart mourning
For what

was but a shadow, a phantom
For you were never really here
For I feasted, needled my flesh
on your rising and falling hills of muscles
all but melt into air

For even so, I gave you all the kisses of the healing sun
caress of dark warring night
rick, moist, needy earth
All of my hollow, charred eyes that I couldn’t turn away
nor afford to open